Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
