Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
