You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
