Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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