garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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