we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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