i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
