ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
