I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
