I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Farmville is her only friend.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
