I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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