yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
