I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
