So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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