I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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