I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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