Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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