I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
