So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize