mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
