It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
try to milk me bitch
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