had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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