Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
