i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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