you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
