i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
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we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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