i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
