I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
