The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
