yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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