I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
