im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
