so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
