Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
