i was rollin on her like bob the builder
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
