You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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