do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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