I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize