she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
