So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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