I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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