i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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