I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Randomize