I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
