Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
