please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
