I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
