im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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