The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
