thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
