Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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