Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize