why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
