You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
