I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize