I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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