So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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