He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
