I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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