I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
