so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize