That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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